I went shopping the other day, you know looking at some jewelry. I'm standing there being waited on, there is this man and his son maaaddd loud in the middle of the store talking about how he can't afford to buy his son the majority of the stuff he wants. How embarrassing, I would definitely want to keep that on the low, not because I am embarrassed of my financial situation, but I don't need everybody in my business. Any who so I am watching them then it hit me..."the smell". That shit was nasty, I mean nasty as hell, I almost choked. It was so bad that I smelled myself, I was like "damn is that me". I thought it was me because that shit was so strong. I couldn't believe the smell so I asked the person I was with, "is that me"? So, I'm thinking well who in the hell is that cuz they killing me. Guess who it was???? The jewelry man, he is in the department store by the way, and his manager is helping him right now. I can't believe this dude was smelling like this, it was disgusting and he has the never to be in vicinity of other people. So you know this just set me off and I talked about what I would as president.
I know what you are thinking, it could be apart of his religion or something but let's leave religion out or just read about what I would do as president.
As president I would make this an amendment and everyone in the USA will have to follow it, forget about state and local laws, this shit will have to be added as well. This is for every ones health, safety, and protection.
I will not discriminate on the basis of race, gender, color, size, ability, religion, political party, social status, economic status...etc and neither does BO (body odor). Everyone in the USA will shower daily and use deodorant of some kind to cover up their body odor. It is mandatory that we all wear it. We will no longer make deodorant that goes on clear, I want to see that shit. If you are found in violation of this law, you will be arrested, showered (wipe your own ass), and stroked four times under each arm until we see the white residue. If you go to work smelling of hot ass, sweat and just straight up BO you will be escorted to the community shower, forced to shower, and you will also be stroked four times under each arm until the white residue is present and until you smell better. To make this law fair to everyone, the price of deodorant will be lowered drastically. It will be such a drastic change that deodorant machines will be placed next to all vending machines, tampon/pad machines, etc. To make matters better every time you purchase a soda, cookies, or whatever you will receive a free sample of deodorant. No one in the USA will ever have to smell again and no one will have to smell something so foul that they have to smell themselves. Funkiness is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. As the constitution states "All man should be created equal (that's a lie but whatever)...life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and free of smelling someone else's body order". Signed by Thomas Jefferson, Samuel Adams, Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, Hilary Clinton...ME!
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